Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Too close. Much too close.

Anyone who knows me, knows I'm a bit accident prone. I don't know why. Most of my injuries are unusual (ripping a 4 inch gash in the skin on my ankle as a result of spraining my ankle) or have turned into an interesting story (putting a hatchet into my ankle and severing two tendons).

A few days ago, I narrowly avoided the worst accident ever. First look at the picture.
Notice anything? Yup, I almost went Terra Sig on myself with a chisel. I was trying to trim a 2x4 to get it flush with an adjoining board. I was not using a hammer at this time, just my hands. I was sitting on the floor, and I whacked the chisel into the wood. It came free of the wood and my hand, with chisel, swung towards my nether region. It glance my pants and never made contact with any of my anatomy.

Here's the weird thing. I didn't notice the hole until the following day. When I did, I was a bit freaked out.

Of course, it would have made a pretty good (albeit embarassing) story.

14 comments:

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

You know...you were one severed vas deferens away from making the Darwin Awards for next year.

Liberal Arts Chemist said...

From personal experience all I can say is that the worst that could have happened would still be better than the three ring, public circus that is a vasectomy. People walking in and out during the procedure, the "support" that you have to wear afterwards and the probing questions by the 16 year old nurses assistant that takes your "specimen" after the procedure. You may have avoided catastrophe now but the "Wives with Knives" club still has your name on their list.

Chemgeek said...

Funny you should mention that LAC... 8 days and counting....

Liberal Arts Chemist said...

Oh man, I'm sorry if my message put a negative spin on the most loving thing you can do for your wife. I will say this however ... if you remember how when you were first married it was like you had the starring role of Buck Studley in your own series of soft core porn videos? After "the pipes are clear" The Return of Buck Studley is something you can look forward to. Just sayin', that and the fact that Canadian public health procedures may be vastly different than in the US. Keep your eyes on the prize and we can look forward to your report from the stirrups.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

I have to go get one of those done, as well.

I've been wondering if the blog stories from afterward will be in five parts, like the gall bladder.

Ψ*Ψ said...

Good for you both--the alternative surgery (for those lacking man-parts) is terribly invasive and can have life-threatening complications.
Annoyingly enough, they also won't perform it on women in their 20s unless they already have lots of childrens...even if there's a good reason. (babies: the ultimate DO NOT WANT)

milkshake said...

IUD such as Mirena are much more reasonable alternative for women, since it last for about 5 years, has low incidence of complications, is very reliable and can be removed without general anesthesia.

Chemgeek said...

OK, all of this talk about my impending surgery is great. BUT!!! Don't you realize I almost severed my wee wee with a chisel!!!!!!! A CHISEL!!!! Where is the shock and awe!!!!

katiedid said...

I am shocked and awed at your LUCK! Holy crap!

Also, Paraguard is the IUD without hormones but all I see are commercials for Mirena, what's up with that?

Chemgeek said...

Katie: Yeah, I was really lucky.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

I'm more shocked and awed that there's not a stain on the pants.

Chemgeek said...

HA!! That would have been a nice touch. I should have thought of that.

Lisa-tastrophies said...

Talk about getting a little "Nip Tuck".
Dude, that was close. For a minute there I thought you were going to say that you wouldn't be able to complete the bar you are building... and I am awaiting the Chemgeek Brewhause grand opening like collage kids await Spring Break!

Chemgeek said...

You and me both, Lisa.