Being all three stooges

Have you ever felt like all Three Stooges at the same time. I do sometimes.

Yesterday, I was reconnecting my kegerator after having defrosted and cleaned it. Here's a description of the system (it's pretty standard, really):

One red plastic tube goes from the regulated gas cylinder...

...to a 3-way gas splitter valve.
The earth destroying gas continues its journey through another red tube which is terminated in a threaded Cornelius ball lock gas quick connect device....
...which connects to the "gas in" post on the beer filled Cornelius keg:

The gas enters the keg through a small tube and provides an atmosphere of carbon dioxide which carbonates the beer.
The gas pressure (being greater than atmospheric pressure) pushes the yummy beer out of the keg through a tube that begins from the bottom of the keg.
The beer is accessed from the keg by a threaded Cornelius ball lock beer quick connect device...
The beer will flow through a tube to my three-tap tower...
... where it is dispensed with the greatest deal of satisfaction.

But, here's the deal. See those devices at the terminus end of the beer delivery system? Yeah, the taps. They are what we call in the industry "important." See, they're valves. On/Off. That sort of thing. But, mostly off. Without a valve in place, it's pretty much 'on.'


As I was reconnecting all of the previously describe components, I failed to connect the taps (a.k.a. the ON-OFF valves). The gas was connected and the cylinder was open. The keg was again pressurized. My last connection (or so I thought at the time) was the connection of the line that runs from the keg to the tap. I made the quick connection, locking the connector in place when the fun started.

Without having the taps in place, the beer started shooting out of the tap tower (sans tap) with about 6.89475728e+28 yoctopascals of pressure (thats 10 psi). It was a steady stream of unrestrained beer. My first indication that I was on the receiving end of a beer jet was that my shoulder was getting wet. I turned to look and started getting right in the chest. Here's where it got real Stoogy. I frantically panicked and in typical fashion spent the next several seconds doing nothing useful to correct the problem. Meanwhile, I'm getting hosed down by beer. I know, it sounds like a dream, but when it's in your house it's not.

I finally gathered my wits. Using one hand to deflect the torrent, I pulled the connection off of the keg and the beer deluge ceased. I looked at myself and all of the beer covering my bar and tile floor (about a half gallon in total) and started to clean up. Thankfully, because I was at the receiving end of the beer jet, the beer never reached the carpet. So I got that going for me.

more bar progress...

I continue to tinker with my bar. I recently added this feature:
I installed this liquor shelf using only materials I had on hand. It turned out pretty nice.

I would like you to note the bottle of gin right in the middle. My parents are moving out of their house right now and found this bottle of gin. They bought it before I was born, drank a little and put in a cupboard for almost 40 years. I tasted it. It's not very ginny anymore.

And now...introducing....

The thing that will change my life forever.

BEHOLD!!!!

I'm so excited, I haven't been able to tell if this will lead to my certain doom. For now, who cares.

Another look:

I have three beers on tap right now. A bitter, a stout and a pale ale.

I'm so happy. My bar is now complete.*



* certain additions pending.

life changing moment... coming soon

I recently promised a story about a recent life-changing moment. I didn't forget. Things are just getting really busy, what with the imminent end of the semester and all (3 days and then finals). I promise I'll tell it soon.

Let me whet your appetite: This life-changing thing will probably contribute to my downfall on many different levels. It is related to my hobby run amok. This thing could be used to kill mjenks.

Until then, watch me "blow up" shit:



Only four stars???? YouTube users suck!!!

I like shiny things

Before I went off and had a few centimeters of my manliness removed, I got some work done on my bar. I made it all real nice and shiny. In addition to the obvious use of polyurethane, I coated the surface of the bar with a substance known as Envirotex.

Envirotex is a resin that can be poured onto a surface resulting in a shiny and resilient surface. There are two solutions, the resin and the hardener. These are mixed in a 50:50 ratio and stirred like mad.

The chemistry is bit complicated due to the number of components, but the net result is the formation of a polymer between bisphenol A and epichlorohydrin.
The first step is to seal the wood to prevent air from forming bubbles in the resin. I coated the wood with 2 coats of polyurethane. The second step was to fill in the gaps between the trim. I was going to flood coat the top of the bar using the trim as a dam to keep it contained, but if the cracks (small as they might be) were not plugged the resin would leak out. I filled them up with a small amount of Envirotex.
Here are a few pics. You can kind of see where I did and didn't add the resin.


When that cured I flooded the whole top. Here's the result. The draft tower shown has not been installed yet. That comes next.



Progress. Glacial, but steady.

On the utility of cases of beer (or how this karma is going to kick my ass)

Sorry for the long time away. I have no excuse. I was just too busy working on my bar. I made a ton of progress during the past week. I will update you over the next few days.

While building my bar, I had to cut a lot of wood. Usually one would use sawhorses to facilitate the cutting of said wood. I am no different, except I am. For most of my cutting I used empty cases of beer bottles as sawhorses. Why not? They were just sitting around.

I cut a lot of wood using these beer cases. They worked great. However, I did have one incident. I was cutting some plywood with a circular saw. I didn't pay enough attention to where the case of beer was. This was the result.
I sawed right through the case of bottles without even noticing it. The bottles did not escape unscathed.
I decapitated 8 bottles with a circular saw. That can't be good.

more bar progress...

It's getting there. I made some progress on my bar by gluing the oak veneer to the plywood. I used contact cement to do the job. I did the top on Wednesday and learned that the solvents used in the contact cement can become quite annoying after a while. On Wednesday it was too freakin' cold to open any windows for ventilation. But, yesterday, when I did the rest of the veneer, it was way up to 8° F. That was plenty warm to open the windows and air out my work space.

By use of my organically trained nose, it was obvious that toluene is the main solvent in the contact cement (think airplane glue). The label also indicated there was naptha and 2-butanone present as well. Naptha is a general term for a mixture of hydrocarbons.

When using contact cement, the cement is added to both surfaces. The glue is allowed to dry (i.e. the solvents evaporate) and then the surfaces are stuck together. Since I had about 80 square feet of surface area to cover with contact cement, I decided to open the windows and vent out the evaporating solvents. By the time I was done, I could see my breath in my basement. It was cold, but on the other hand, the vapors vented out quite nicely.

Here are a few pictures.

The front of the bar.
Look at that tight corner

The end of the bar.A close up.

Now, all I have left is to add trim, stain, gloss up the surface, and add the beer delivery system.

The only drawback to the progress I am making on my bar is that I have not had time to brew. That will need to be remedied.

A flurry of bar building activity

I made a good deal of progress on my bar yesterday and today. Since I am doing all of my cutting in my shed or garage and the temperatures are expected to plummet to -15°F, I felt compelled to do as much cutting as I could. I like my testicles and prefer not to freeze them off.

On Sunday, I installed 1/2 inch plywood on the front of the bar. Tonight I installed the bar top (5/8 inch plywood) and cut (but didn't install) 1/4 inch oak veneer. I need to figure out the best way to attach the oak veneer. Obviously, screwing it or nailing it in place would defeat the purpose of the veneer. I will probably glue it, but I need to figure out what type of glue to use.

Here are a few pictures.

After I attach the veneer, I will install trim, stain it, lacquer of the surface real good, and install the kegerator. I'm getting close.

'tis now a wet bar

I worked on my bar tonight and installed a sink, complete with drain. Here is a picture of the sink with the water running just to prove that it works.

Here is a picture of the "main prep" area that I tiled and grouted.

As you can see, my work area is a bit messy. That's because I have not taken the time to clean. Time is too valuable right now to clean. I need to get ready for the new semester that starts on Monday. Obviously, that's been my #1 priority.

Also, sitting in my garage, I have all of the plywood and oak veneer I need to nearly finish the beast. After that comes trim, but that is only cosmetic.

Bar progress

As I mentioned yesterday I am building a bar in my basement. Even though I really should be getting ready for the new semester, I decided to install some tile on my bar (I am such a terrible procrastinator).

I have installed a lot of ceramic tile in the past 5 years. I did our kitchen, dining room, 2 entry ways, a shower and now on and under my bar. I own a tile saw and have used it a lot. I do all of my tile cutting outside because a tile saw is a bit messy. A tile saw is a wet saw meaning the blade cooled by water. The bottom inch of the blade dips into a reservoir of water.

As evidence that Minnesota winters are cold, my tile saw froze up between cuts. It was only outside for a total of 3 hours, but that was enough to freeze the blade in the "not moving" position when I hit the switch.

Tomorrow I will add grout. That job sucks, but it will help me procrastinate.

My slooooooow bar project.

When we bought our house several years ago, the entire basement was unfinished. It only took me about 4 years to finally finish it. Money and the arrival of children really slowed things down.

Right now, I'm building a bar in my basement. I planned for the eventual addition of said bar. I put plumbing and electrical in all the right places.

I'm not a professional handi-man, but I would like to think I am entirely capable. My main drawback is that I am very slow and methodical. I will literally spend hours thinking and planning. That's why my bar wasn't finished in July as planned.

The first step was to cut a perfectly good chunk of carpet out of our newly laid carpet and replace it with slate tile.

The second step was to frame in the bar. That's where I am right now.

Here are some pictures:

The bar in it's current state of disarray:
Where the sink will go:
The other side of the bar. I'll be tiling the surface with small slate tile.
Where the kegerator will go:
The kegerator that will go into the bar:
My kids think they can hammer screws into scraps. Silly kids: